Patriarchy harms men too and other myths
Myth #1: Men have to (financially) ‘provide’ for women and work to support their families
Men have for centuries systematically and actively prevented women from gaining financial independence and it is a function of patriarchy that women have to be reliant on men for financial support, which allows men to control them and force them to staying in abusive relationships. Moreover, it is women who support the family and men’s careers by providing childcare and free domestic labour.
Myth #2: Men aren’t allowed to express emotions
Contrary to popular belief, men currently have and have for many years had available to them the option to feel anything they want, and in fact their feelings are prioritized and made way for in every social situation. If a man is angry, he not only is allowed to feel angry and express this anger freely but when this anger is subjected towards women, they are expected to accept it. It would make more sense if you were to argue about what kinds of feelings are more acceptable for men and women to express. Since for women getting angry is just as socially unacceptable as it might be for men to express empathy (towards non-men) or any other emotion that doesn’t allow for dominance, even when the anger is over violence, discrimination, misogyny and other forms of oppression.
Myth# 3: Gender norms are somehow more harmful for men/Men are discriminated against for not conforming to male gender norms
Being told to ‘man up’ and being ostracized from male circles for not participating in violent male culture in which you are expected to dominate, maintain superiority and encompass the norms and values of traditional masculinity is not more harmful than being subjected to male violence. Next.
Myth# 4: Men are responsible for protecting women and children
Women and children don’t need to be protected by men — they need to be protected from men. This protection racket in which one group of men promises to protect women and children from another group of men requires that these “good men” have the power to protect which in effect means the power to control the other group by threats of violence towards ‘their’ women. It would be better if gallant men trying to save their women focused their energies more on not being the exact kind of men women need protection from.
Myth #5: Saying men are trash is the same thing as misogyny
This phrase has been debated to death and back and by now you really should know what it encompasses. If not here’s a PSA: when women express their hatred for men they are referring to centuries of systematic oppression in which women have been tortured, killed, burned alive, raped, subjected to sexual harassment and assault, have had their reproductive capabilities abused, passed around like property, prevented from accessing education or a livable income on the basis of their sex. When women hate men, they seek to distance themselves from men while when men hate women, they do the exact opposite by invading our spaces, harassing or using sexual violence as a threat. Expressing anger against this violence does not in any way and will never equal to men’s hatred of women.
Myth #6: Feminists who focus too much on the little things are misusing feminism
Feminists who focus too much on the little things do so because that’s it — that’s how the fundamental idea that women are not equal to men is conveyed over and over and over again. When feminist concern trolls whine about the misuse of feminism they’re deliberately ignoring how culture works. As if such deep-rooted hatred of women just springs out of nowhere and isn’t built into our institutions as so indispensable as to be unquestionable. The ‘little things’ don’t happen in a vacuum but are actually a part of a spectrum of misogyny that forms the systematic subjugation of women.
Myth #1: Men have to (financially) ‘provide’ for women and work to support their families
Men have for centuries systematically and actively prevented women from gaining financial independence and it is a function of patriarchy that women have to be reliant on men for financial support, which allows men to control them and force them to staying in abusive relationships. Moreover, it is women who support the family and men’s careers by providing childcare and free domestic labour.
Myth #2: Men aren’t allowed to express emotions
Contrary to popular belief, men currently have and have for many years had available to them the option to feel anything they want, and in fact their feelings are prioritized and made way for in every social situation. If a man is angry, he not only is allowed to feel angry and express this anger freely but when this anger is subjected towards women, they are expected to accept it. It would make more sense if you were to argue about what kinds of feelings are more acceptable for men and women to express. Since for women getting angry is just as socially unacceptable as it might be for men to express empathy (towards non-men) or any other emotion that doesn’t allow for dominance, even when the anger is over violence, discrimination, misogyny and other forms of oppression.
Myth# 3: Gender norms are somehow more harmful for men/Men are discriminated against for not conforming to male gender norms
Being told to ‘man up’ and being ostracized from male circles for not participating in violent male culture in which you are expected to dominate, maintain superiority and encompass the norms and values of traditional masculinity is not more harmful than being subjected to male violence. Next.
Myth# 4: Men are responsible for protecting women and children
Women and children don’t need to be protected by men — they need to be protected from men. This protection racket in which one group of men promises to protect women and children from another group of men requires that these “good men” have the power to protect which in effect means the power to control the other group by threats of violence towards ‘their’ women. It would be better if gallant men trying to save their women focused their energies more on not being the exact kind of men women need protection from.
Myth #5: Saying men are trash is the same thing as misogyny
This phrase has been debated to death and back and by now you really should know what it encompasses. If not here’s a PSA: when women express their hatred for men they are referring to centuries of systematic oppression in which women have been tortured, killed, burned alive, raped, subjected to sexual harassment and assault, have had their reproductive capabilities abused, passed around like property, prevented from accessing education or a livable income on the basis of their sex. When women hate men, they seek to distance themselves from men while when men hate women, they do the exact opposite by invading our spaces, harassing or using sexual violence as a threat. Expressing anger against this violence does not in any way and will never equal to men’s hatred of women.
Myth #6: Feminists who focus too much on the little things are misusing feminism
Feminists who focus too much on the little things do so because that’s it — that’s how the fundamental idea that women are not equal to men is conveyed over and over and over again. When feminist concern trolls whine about the misuse of feminism they’re deliberately ignoring how culture works. As if such deep-rooted hatred of women just springs out of nowhere and isn’t built into our institutions as so indispensable as to be unquestionable. The ‘little things’ don’t happen in a vacuum but are actually a part of a spectrum of misogyny that forms the systematic subjugation of women.
