Reclaiming the Streets: A Conversation on the space women occupy
by Zainab Azfar
The streets of Lahore are a dangerous place to be a woman; teeming with hostility, unwelcome advances, and incessant staring. One often feels the overwhelming need to be safe in threatening environments. However, our safety nets too are often problematic since they perpetuate age old stereotypes in surprisingly subtle ways.
“Take your brother with you”, Amma will say. “Shouldn’t you be taking a male friend?”, your sister will hesitantly suggest. “Wait… so you went on your own? Do you realize how dangerous that is?”, quips an angry friend. As little girls, we have been taught that public spaces — to which we all should have equal access — are unsuitable places for respectable girls to be at after a certain time. It is hammered into our heads that our fathers, brothers, and male friends will lend us crucial protection simply by the virtue of being present with us. Effectively, we internalize the belief that we cannot reclaim public spaces unless the presence of a man at our side is guaranteed.
Admittedly, it is convenient to fall in line with patriarchal narratives about inability of women to protect themselves. I, too, am guilty of feeling safer around one man over six girls. Until recently, I thought I was justified in thinking so. What I had not realized earlier was that, as women, we would never be completely protected. As grown adults, we cannot keep depending on someone else for something as crucial as our own well-being. It is unfair to restrict ourselves from taking part in activities we enjoy, something as mundane as going out for chai, simply because of the lack of a “trustworthy” man around. It is far more empowering to learn to defend ourselves, and that can come in many forms: being taught different methods of self-defence, carrying a pepper spray, installing GPS trackers, you name it. While it is tragic that we must take such measures into consideration, it is the harsh reality.
While self-reliance in these situations can indeed be empowering, we must also support other women in this endeavour. The next time you hear of a friend having to go somewhere alone, accompany her. The streets are undoubtedly unsafe but there is power in numbers. More importantly, the sight of women collectively reclaiming public spaces sends a powerful message to the men who have typically dominated these spaces: we are human beings, we are out, and we don’t need approval to do so. It’s time to trust ourselves with other women and let other women trust us with their well-being.
Those who want the ‘best’ for us — our parents, family members, friends — are often the ones imposing restrictions. Generations of women have been convinced of the patriarchal belief that we cannot protect ourselves, hence it takes a tremendous amount of time for ourselves and our loved ones to unlearn harmful gender stereotypes. While unlearning is a slow process, the normalizing of independent women fearlessly taking the streets will only serve to speed up the process. In this regard, there has undoubtedly been progress: The Aurat March is the perfect example — hundreds of women felt safe in the company of one another and took to the streets to stand up for themselves, making for a truly surreal sight. Girls at Dhabas, too, is making strides towards women taking up traditionally male-dominated spheres and normalising a seemingly menial task (for men) — going out to get chai.
Trailblazing campaigns such as these make women feel like they truly belong in the wider narrative of our world and may just help another woman feel empowered enough to step out of her home alone. In the forward march of complete and total equality, we must be able to unapologetically assert our presence in places where it has not been felt, and while that may be an uncomfortable experience at first, it is powerful all the same.
